I’m sure many of you have the pleasure of receiving a performance review at the end of the year. Your company touts the performance review as being incredibly important. Your witty your boss will mention “the performance review ties directly to your pay increase” and “we pay for high performance”. In some companies all of the above may very well be true, but in other companies it’s other way round… Let me address this in several bullet points to demonstrate for you all the myths relating to performance reviews:

Myth 1: Performance Reviews are Important.

Hmm… it’s so important that every year I’m asked by my boss to submit to him a self evaluation. This is because my boss is too damn lazy to take the time to write my review himself. Instead he will take what I have written and just cut and past it into the review. To make himself feel better he will add one measly sentence of what he/she calls “constructive criticism” (read: degrading enunciation of failures) and rate me 2 levels below what my self evaluation grade was. The sentence he adds also has zero ounce of fact or truth in it and he cannot give me any examples of what he means. Gee thanks!

Myth 2: Performance Reviews Reward (monetarily) High Performers.

As a manager I have the pleasure of seeing what salary increases my people get as part of their reviews. I can tell you that high performance does not equal high monetary rewards. My company flat out rewards employees with the following % increases: 1% (meets expectations), 2% (exceeds expectations), 3% (far exceeds expectations). So based on these reward system, an employee making $40k a year will only get $13 more a paycheck for far exceeding expectations vs. just meeting expectations. Whoopdy do! That’s why everyone in my company is mediocre. People came in, realized they would get shitty increases, and figured why try harder than I have to.

Myth 3: Your Review is Based on the Entire Year.

We all know the suck-a*ses who do nothing for the first 8 months of the year, then turn it on the last 4 months and get a dandy review. Reviews are very rarely based on the entire year because bosses are too damn lazy to keep records and meet with their employees throughout the year to discuss progress, accomplishments and improvement points. If you did something great at the end of the year your boss will think of that when reviewing you. If you slipped up at the end of the year, even though you performed well overall, expect a crappy review. It’s sad, but true.

Myth 4: Your Review Can Be Changed.

During your review your boss gives you a bum rating in a category or overall. You provide documentation and proof that clearly shows that the rating is not consistent to your performance. Take heart, my friend. Your boss took zero time on your review to begin with because they just want to get it over with. They certainly aren’t going to allow more time to listen to a dispute of their rating. Furthermore, most bosses are egomaniacs and will flip out that you are even questioning the rating.

Most companies out there talk the talk about performance reviews, but don’t walk the walk. Does your company conduct training on performance reviews to make sure management knows how to properly write and conduct a review? Probably Not! Does anyone at your company look at the reviews for consistency and accuracy? Probably Not! There are many myths about the performance review, but there is one truth; the performance review at most companies are a formality and have zero value or reward for employees!