What’s The Craziest Thing You’ve Done Lately?

Disclaimer: You’d definitely need a dictionary open to interpret this post… (especially Bobby)

So it is April: The month of fools (or fooling around?). It was the perfect time— DVD marathon— when I watched this movie yesterday, hmmm… This was definitely not porn, nor an American Pie attempt. At least, when one-sixteenth-porn movies are not too trite, The Girl Next Door tried not to be hackneyed as much as possible. Now it’s intuitive to ask, “What would you do when your girlfriend is actually an ex-porn star?”

As in the case where a buddy of yours would slot in a DVD tape in your player and then you see HER there… pretty much doing her “thing,” like, what would you do? It’ll be a volatile experience (I mean, if you’re not a pervert). The Girl Next Door offered less of the laughs, but more of the teenage drama, romance and test/s of philosophy. Director Luke Greenfield said in his commentary that he will indeed employ the affective drive of the eye [or eye contact] as an intensifying agent. And that’s how he established Danielle’s ubiquitous hotness.

Three things I liked in this film:

1. First off, the über-hot (relaaaaks, no hyperventilating… deep breaths please!) Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert) is sexy with or without her clothes on. Lol. Her peering eyes and sleek lips are what I consider as standards for one to be called a city chick and/or a country sylph.

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The hero lives on…

In some bollywood movies this is what forms the heart of the movie, thankfully nowadays we don’t see such endurance tests… unless ofcourse if you are watching an old Rajnikanth flick…

Earthly stars…

With Aamir Khan’s ‘Taare Zameen Par’ appealing the masses, the actor has surely made an impressive directorial debut. The sensitivity with which he has handled the subject is worth appreciating. However, one of the forwards related to the film being sent around on emails talks about what TZP would be like if the film was made by some other Bollywood filmmakers.

If Karan Johar made Taare Zameen Par …

Obvious starcast: Shahrukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!), Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts), Rani Mukerjee as the kid’s mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable), Abhishek Bachchan as the kid’s dad, Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).

It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.

The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid’s mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else’s girl. It would have one dance number. The film would be titled ‘Kuch Taare Zameen Par‘