Anti-social Employment…

Note: The terms ‘Oh-Sho-Shweet’ and ‘Aaaw’ is taken from a gushing female-friend of mine.

I love people, I really do. Besides the usual ‘oh-so-sexy’ category there is ‘oh-sho-shweet’ category (i.e. children, for those unacquainted with the ‘oh-so-sweet’ terminology – pronounciation: ‘oh-sho-shweet’) and the ‘aaaw’ category (if you don’t know what this means, place a puppy and a sample of the ‘oh-so-sweet’ category together in front of a girl and you’ll get, or rather, hear the idea), I am in awe of all Lawrence of Arabia, Rickys of Pointings, Georges of Bushes, Rajs of Thackereys and the likes. The ‘likes’ here, would essentially stand for those outstanding human beings who take themselves so seriously that they end up making outstanding fools of themselves.

Anyway, being the shallow person that I am, I shall not go in depth where these outstanding personalities are personally concerned. Let’s talk about people, and not the famous ones, just our normal average Joe’s and Jolie’s (female form of Joe and not the outstanding personality one would usually associate that name with).

We all take ourselves seriously at some point or the other but there are some of us out there who do an outstanding job of it. These guys are real fun to observe. You can find them in the office cubicle adjacent to yours or sweating it out and stinking on the treadmill next to you amongst several other places. All you need to do when you spot such a character is to pull up a seat, grab a drink, get your popcorn and

An ideal host to these commensal organisms is a page-3 party. Our subject of study would probably be subject to a lot of stress before the commencement of such a party. After all, it isn’t all that easy to think and talk at the same time, sound good and look better at the same time and eat a morsel of food and force yourself to puke it out (fortunately, not at the same time). It’s tougher still to color code your hair to match that exact shade of gold your less-observant dentist capped into your mouth for that million dollar smile. Oh, the pressure must be unbearable!

Recently, I stumbled upon a picture of the Queenies of Dhodys on the third page of an outstandingly inconsequential ‘news’paper. If you think that the ‘news’paper is bad from the front-page wait till you get over to the Page 3. As is the case with standard, customary ‘news’paper photography, a title/job description was bestowed upon the organism as ‘Queenie Dhody: Socialite’. I’ve heard of several job descriptions but this was the first time I ever thought of socializing as a full-time, serious profession. Geez, imagine having to keep up with those infinite appointments and remembering names of both, emerging and long-established people who share similar career interests. Not to mention a million ‘air-kisses’ and being an inevitable and essential part of society, I guess these guys must be working in a sweatshop…

Man, am I glad I am anti-social; I simply hate the thought of being unemployed.


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