Another onward ho…

The first thing that I remember waking up to was neither a friend wishing me ‘Happy Birthday’ nor a comely lass doing the same thing in a far more enticing manner but sadly it was someone else that woke me up… It was the sound of the neighbor’s two-year-old asking my mom at 8.00am… “It’s Ankit Uncle’s birthday today isn’t it?… Has he woken up yet?…” He continued to make a 15-minute long conversation but nothing fell on my ears the only thing that I remember is that now I am one year closer to being called Uncle… 😦 I had definitely woken up in the wrong world on the wrong side…

Birthday brings a lot of things to you… gray hair, bad eyesight, creaky joints (oh no, that was last year 😦 ) ear hair, aches, pains, bad teeth… sigh… the only silver lining is the cake that you get… This year though it was not meant to be… The heat that is currently badgering Ahmedabad spoiled it all… I am a sucker for fresh cream cake and the biggest problem with fresh cream cakes is that it does not stay ‘fresh’ for a long time… even under refrigeration it is bound to get a little sour… just the right amount to elicit a ‘yuk’ from you…

My friend who has the temper of a volcano flew off the handle and went to return the cake promptly… Once he was back he said the shopkeeper had allegedly apologized saying that the cake was meant to be for someone else, coy that my friend is he accepted this explanation and gracefully took the one that was ‘meant for me’ in exchange… minus the candles… This was the reason that I had to blow and extraordinarily huge candle instead of 28 small ones… Sadly, it was not until he recounted the entire story to me that he realized that he had been duped… He once again wanted to go and have a ‘talk’ with the shop owner but he said he did not have a face to go with… I almost offered mine instead which is when I truly understood what he meant… just in time… All things said and done it was a confusing day, me not being able to understand why I have to age… or my friend lose his face… or my joints acting up… Always the jester, my friend, recounted this story to make it easier for us to handle these series of unfortunate events…

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.

“How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?”

“Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I’m supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight.”

The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.

“Oh, darling,” she said, “sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be over in half an hour. I’ll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I’ll feed the baby and I’ll call a repairman I know who’ll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I’ll do everything. In fact, I’ll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”

“George?” said the housewife. “Who’s George?”

“Why, George! Your husband… Isn’t this 6467597?”

“No, this is 6765412”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.”

There was a short pause and the housewife said, “Does this mean you’re not coming over?”

Well hopefully you enjoyed reading about my birthday more than I enjoyed experiencing it 🙂


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