Very Interesting as long as you don’t have to experience it.
- I started out with nothing…and I still have most of it.
- When I was young, I would go out and sow my wild oats, then I would pray for a crop failure. But when did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
- I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
- Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
- All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
- If all is not lost, where is it?
- It really is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- The first rule of holes; if you are in one, stop digging.
- I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
- Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
- A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.
- It’s not the pace of life that concerns me; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
- It’s hard to make a comeback, when you haven’t been anywhere.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.
- When you’re finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.