Old Guy Wisdom

Very Interesting as long as you don’t have to experience it.

  • I started out with nothing…and I still have most of it.
  • When I was young, I would go out and sow my wild oats, then I would pray for a crop failure. But when did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
  • All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It really is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • The first rule of holes; if you are in one, stop digging.
  • I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
  • Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
  • A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
  • Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  • It’s not the pace of life that concerns me; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
  • It’s hard to make a comeback, when you haven’t been anywhere.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.
  • When you’re finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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