A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Dachshund dog along for company. One day, the Dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the Dachshund discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The Dachshund thinks, “I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the Dachshund … Continue reading Point, Set, Game
This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s true. John Bradford, a young Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stop. John , desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed … Continue reading Birth of Horror
Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village money lender. The Money lender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would … Continue reading Thinking on the feet…
A husband and wife went to the city fair. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but her husband wasn’t comfortable with that, so the wife went on by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet. “Are you hurt?” he asked. “Of course I’m hurt!” she replied. “Three times around and you didn’t wave once!” Continue reading Marriage & Ferris Wheel
(Read Part I here) “My Daddy couldn’t be here, Because he lives so far away, But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day. “And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know, All about my Daddy, And how he loves me so. “He loved to tell me stories, He taught me to ride my bike, He surprised me with pink roses, And taught me to fly a kite. “We used to share fudge sundaes, And ice cream in a cone, And though you cannot see him, I’m not standing here alone. … Continue reading Daddy’s Day At School – II
Her hair was up in a pony tail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy’s Day at school, And she couldn’t wait to go. But her Mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, If she went to school alone. But she was not afraid, She knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn’t there today. But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, She tried to keep her daughter home. But … Continue reading Daddy’s Day At School – I
Noted on the web: I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. In today’s hectic world we all could use a little calm. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. The article read: “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.” So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning I finished a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey’s, Kahlua … Continue reading Finish Unfinished Tasks
Dear Staff, Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. Transportation: It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you drive a 10 year old car or public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise. If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you … Continue reading New HR Policy
Have you wondered why you invariably feel amorous after a drink or two? I am assuming that you will find answers here…
ARIES: Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don’t know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They’re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you — so long as you haven’t gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Geminis.
TAURUS: Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler — god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
Sometime ago I wrote about Bad Bosses here is an example of a guy who mentioned his experience… Needless to say he got fired… Scott Adams himself wrote that “He’s not sadistic, just uncaring.” What troubles me is the question,”How did Scot Adams generalize every possible boss in the world with more or less just +-10% deviation? Here are few observations. Boss will change their mind with every stimuli or communication. Boss will make sure that employees are as clueless as “lab rat” in a maze and encourage guess work on what’s important to the boss. They will always want … Continue reading Way to get Fired…
Do you ever feel overworked, over-regulated, under-leisured and under-benefited? Take heart, this notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852: This firm has reduced the hours of work, and the clerical staff will now only have to be present between the hours of 6 am and 7 pm weekdays. Clothing must be of sober nature. The clerical staff will not disport themselves in raiment of bright colors, nor will they wear hose unless in good repair. Overshoes and topcoats may not be worn in the office, but neck scarves and headwear may be … Continue reading Feel Overworked, Do You?
SurveySite developed a list of 40 factors that had the most potential impact on the repeat visit rate. From this analysis, a final survey with 12 questions was developed. Content correlated highest (74%) with the likelihood to make a repeat visit to a site. The main reason for deciding not to revisit a site was ‘frivolous content’. The second most important factor is enjoyability of the site (71%): either providing a novel experience or entertainment, or an interesting interface etc. The third most important factor was the quality of the organization, or layout (68%) The and fourth most important factor … Continue reading How to: Be the best…
The below-quoted jape is yet another version of a long-running Internet hoax that has been circulating in one form or another since 1997. The names of the companies involved and the supposed rewards to be had change periodically, but the basic come-on remains the same: foolish and/or gullible netizens end up endlessly forwarding junk messages to their friends and acquaintances with phony promises of cash and free merchandise.
Example: [Collected via e-mail, December 2008]
Ericsson is distributing free laptops for their brand promotion. They hope to increase their popularity and sale by this campaign. All you need to do is send an email about this promotion to 8 people and you will receive an Ericsson T18 Laptop.
However, if you send an email to 20 or more people, you will receive an Ericsson R320 Laptop. Make sure you send a copy to: email@example.com
Thanks and Regards,
Way back in April 2000, after an iteration of this hoax stated that Nokia was giving away free cell phones, a new version was set loose claiming that Ericsson was trying to one-up their competitor with a similar offer:
Here are a set of resolutions that came in a little late – to make you all smile…
Making resolutions and sticking to them can be difficult. Laugh at these ten jokes and try not to take life too seriously.
Getting in shape:
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was. “Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”
Starting that diet:
My friend K announced that she had started a diet to lose some Kgs. she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and french fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”
This is all that you need to understand about American Economics. This was portrayed by Bill around 15 years back and still holds good. 🙂 Continue reading American Economics – 101