A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Dachshund dog along for company. One day, the Dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the Dachshund discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The Dachshund thinks, “I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the Dachshund … Continue reading Point, Set, Game
A husband and wife went to the city fair. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but her husband wasn’t comfortable with that, so the wife went on by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet. “Are you hurt?” he asked. “Of course I’m hurt!” she replied. “Three times around and you didn’t wave once!” Continue reading Marriage & Ferris Wheel
Very Interesting as long as you don’t have to experience it. I started out with nothing…and I still have most of it. When I was young, I would go out and sow my wild oats, then I would pray for a crop failure. But when did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran? I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. If all is not lost, where is it? It really is easier to get older than it … Continue reading Old Guy Wisdom
Noted on the web: I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. In today’s hectic world we all could use a little calm. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. The article read: “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.” So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning I finished a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey’s, Kahlua … Continue reading Finish Unfinished Tasks
Thursday: Sikander – How much does a ring cost? Me – What ring? and why do you want to buy a ring? Sikander – Let me worry about that… I guess I will have to go and check out the price Monday: Me – So how was the weekend? Sikander – Good. Very, very Good. Me – Okay. Get that hanger out of you mouth… and tell me what happened… Sikander – You know about the ring… Me – Yeah you were inquiring about that last week. Did you buy that? Sikander – No but let me tell you a … Continue reading Hanky Panky
Some people say that idiot box has dumbed us. They say it has reduced interaction. Now I am not sure what they mean… Not only talking I even exercise during commercials… I mean getting up to refill the bowl of peanuts is also an exercise… Yesterday while watching an extremely long commercial I had the following conversation… My friend: You know, I am having a run of bad luck… Me: Are you exercising? [Little Laughter] I am sorry why do you think that? MF: First, there was this incident that happened at my cousin’s marriage… and then I just realized … Continue reading Lame Conversation – I
Dear Staff, Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. Transportation: It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you drive a 10 year old car or public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise. If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you … Continue reading New HR Policy
Have you wondered why you invariably feel amorous after a drink or two? I am assuming that you will find answers here…
ARIES: Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don’t know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They’re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you — so long as you haven’t gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Geminis.
TAURUS: Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler — god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
Sometime ago I wrote about Bad Bosses here is an example of a guy who mentioned his experience… Needless to say he got fired… Scott Adams himself wrote that “He’s not sadistic, just uncaring.” What troubles me is the question,”How did Scot Adams generalize every possible boss in the world with more or less just +-10% deviation? Here are few observations. Boss will change their mind with every stimuli or communication. Boss will make sure that employees are as clueless as “lab rat” in a maze and encourage guess work on what’s important to the boss. They will always want … Continue reading Way to get Fired…
Do you ever feel overworked, over-regulated, under-leisured and under-benefited? Take heart, this notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852: This firm has reduced the hours of work, and the clerical staff will now only have to be present between the hours of 6 am and 7 pm weekdays. Clothing must be of sober nature. The clerical staff will not disport themselves in raiment of bright colors, nor will they wear hose unless in good repair. Overshoes and topcoats may not be worn in the office, but neck scarves and headwear may be … Continue reading Feel Overworked, Do You?
I have been accused of many things. No, really, I have been. One of them has been using “hard words” to express, or that’s how a vocabulary-challenged friend of mine voiced his anger/frustration. I disagreed with him and now I have one less reader. It took me 2 months to get over it. I would not have cared but when your readership is not in hundred-thousands you notice when even a single person stops visiting. The six-degree network crap. This was primarily my reason for sending out a self-promoting mail to my close and not-so-close friends.
I digressed. So, recently I took the blog readability test forwarded in jest by a fellow blogger and guess what I found out… Or don’t guess let me tell you a little more about this “test“
The below-quoted jape is yet another version of a long-running Internet hoax that has been circulating in one form or another since 1997. The names of the companies involved and the supposed rewards to be had change periodically, but the basic come-on remains the same: foolish and/or gullible netizens end up endlessly forwarding junk messages to their friends and acquaintances with phony promises of cash and free merchandise.
Example: [Collected via e-mail, December 2008]
Ericsson is distributing free laptops for their brand promotion. They hope to increase their popularity and sale by this campaign. All you need to do is send an email about this promotion to 8 people and you will receive an Ericsson T18 Laptop.
However, if you send an email to 20 or more people, you will receive an Ericsson R320 Laptop. Make sure you send a copy to: email@example.com
Thanks and Regards,
Way back in April 2000, after an iteration of this hoax stated that Nokia was giving away free cell phones, a new version was set loose claiming that Ericsson was trying to one-up their competitor with a similar offer:
I have been guilty of Ego Googling too. Admit it; you have at least played with the thought of creating your own Wikipedia entry. However because of the Wikipedia’s requirement of being “notable”, though, most people will find it really hard to find themselves on Wikipedia. Wikipedia, as you probably already know, is an online, multilingual encyclopedia whose entries are written and edited by readers around the world. To be notable, a Wikipedia subject must be “the subject of multiple, non-trivial published works from sources that are reliable and independent of the subject and of each other.” For us “not-notable-yet” … Continue reading Are you Notable yet?
Here are a set of resolutions that came in a little late – to make you all smile…
Making resolutions and sticking to them can be difficult. Laugh at these ten jokes and try not to take life too seriously.
Getting in shape:
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was. “Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”
Starting that diet:
My friend K announced that she had started a diet to lose some Kgs. she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and french fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”
This is all that you need to understand about American Economics. This was portrayed by Bill around 15 years back and still holds good. 🙂 Continue reading American Economics – 101